Words

                        

                                       WORDS
                                                                          
The family had all arrived for Thanksgiving and were waiting in the living room until dinner was ready. I thought it was, until my daughter Debbie, my official ‘poultry inspector’ poked at the turkey, “Uh, uh” she said, “it needs more time.” A few years ago undercooked poultry sent some of us home with stomach aches and although it wasn’t serious it could have been and we certainly didn’t want to repeat it.
“It’s my fault!” I said,“I should have put the turkey into the oven much earlier.“ With that I let out a barrage of ‘spicy’ language…ignoring Debbie’s disapproving glare. “I’ll go in and tell them.” I said.
She followed me into the living room. “Hey everyone,” I announced, “it’ll be a while longer before we eat.”
“Oh no,” groaned 17 year old Neil, “I’m starving.”
“I know. I’m so angry at myself and trying not to use words that aren’t…well… nice.”
“You can use them Grandma, we don’t mind.” said Emily.
Debbie shot me a look that said, ‘I hope you’re not going to‘. I shot her a look right back, ‘Don’t worry,’ mine said, ‘I’m not going to corrupt your children…and anyway, they’re not ALL yours.’
My granddaughter Allison spoke up, “We heard some words yesterday that made us very happy… from our realtor. She told us; ‘They accepted your offer, the apartment is yours.!’ “ Everybody in the room applauded; Allison and Bill, with a baby due soon, badly needed a larger apartment.
Lenny stood up, “The best words I heard was at our last game, when I slid into home plate, and the umpire called ‘SAFE!’ We won the game and the series.”
He got a round of applause too.
"Okay,” I said, “Who’s next…Haley?”
Haley shook her head,“ Well, I didn’t hear the words yet from the college in Philadelphia. I’m waiting.”
"I heard words I didn’t want to hear from the dishwasher repairman,” said Debbie. ‘We’ll come over and look at the problem, not to fix it, just to look. The soonest we can come is a week from Thursday between 8 AM and 4PM.’ Can you believe that I have to wait all day for them?”
“Waiting is tough” laughed Allison, holding her stomach.
“I’ll tell you the words I DIDN’T like to hear, from the company I applied to for a job,” said Natalie, our recent college graduate. “ ‘We’re not hiring right now,’ they told me, ‘but we do have an internship open, if you’re interested.’ “Paid internship?” I asked them. ‘No, no pay.’ But I’ve been
an intern already, now I need a job.!”
Neil, our newest driver, raised his hand, “My turn. ‘You left your lights on overnight in your car. The battery is dead.’ “
The room exploded into groans, “Who hasn’t heard those words at least once,”
said my son-in-law Mel.
“The words I’d like to hear," said Emily “are, ‘Justin Beiber is coming to Long Island…to my school…and I have a ticket in the front row…and he wants a new girlfriend…”
Her cousins rocked with laughter, “In your dreams, Emily.”
“OK,” she said, “that didn’t happen…but it could. Or, how about, ‘Schools are closed, it’s a snow day.’ ”
"Do you know what words I like to say?" said Lenny, “I’ll have the corned beef on rye, fries on the side, a large Coke…apple pie…” That got an enthusiastic response from the roomful of hungry people.
“Ma, I know what you like to say,” said Debbie, “Your face lights up when you’re on the telephone. I don’t mean with just anyone… but when you say your favorite words, ‘I want to speak to your supervisor!’ ’Isn’t that right Ma?”
“Well,” I said, “somebody has to deal with those people, if you can ever get a living human being on the line!”
Debbie nodded, “We need someone like you to speak up for all of us!” she said and for that she got high fives from everyone and so did I !
“Okay “ I said,“ but what about those…3 little words?” I scanned the room, grandkids of 14 years of age, 17 ,19, 20 and up, the ages when we first fall in love!
“So, what about it…have you heard them or said them?” My question was met with giggles and blushes, but no responses.
“Ma, you’re embarrassing them!” said Debbie.
No, I had very carefully avoided looking at any one in particular.
Allison changed the subject; “What about you Nana? What words do you like the most?”
My mother, at 97 years of age, had hearing problems, so she would often catch only some of what was said in a crowded room. But not tonight; “Oh, that’s easy, 'I Love You,” she said, waving her arm around the room. “And the words that I say aloud every day are also three words, they are ‘Thank You God.’ ”
“I’ll second that Mom”, I said, and then with a signal from Debbie, I was able to announce the words; “Dinner is ready. Let’s eat!”
  THE END


　



　

　

　

　

　

Birthdays, Big Shot Grandma

                                   BIRTHDAYS, Big Shot Grandma
PART ONE                                        

Some people love their own birthdays, as children, young adults, adults and

finally seniors. They love to tell everyone when it’s their day, and to feel

 a warm glow inside about it.

But I’m not one of them. I have what I call ‘mixed feelings’ about my

birthdays. Happy, not happy, I’m mostly indifferent and because my

friends and family think I'm strange I am always glad when that day is

 over.

For me, the birthdays that I have treasured are those of my children and

especially my grandchildren. I loved the shopping for their presents from

the time they were just babies. No clothing from me… let the other

grandparents give them the pajamas, the overalls and even cute outfits

from The Baby Gap.

Uh, uh, I could be found in Toys R Us looking for dolls for the girls, the

soft cuddly ones to start with… later graduating to the Barbies, and of

course that most memorable Cabbage Patch doll when in the height of the

craze I was able to locate one, with the ‘adoption papers’ for my first

granddaughter.

For the boys, balls… and for both anything on wheels.

Wheels start early, by the age of 2 the boy is ready for the simplest

wooden train set which, of course, comes in a BIG BOX and has to be put

together while we’re at the party. So obviously my gift had to be brought in

with a lot of excitement, last. For all their birthday parties my gifts included

other things on wheels, wagons, scooters, tricycles, (with pink or shiny

silver streamers hanging from the handle bars), the cars, Barbies or fire

engines, and then of course for each their first two wheeler bicycle!

And because my gifts were always the BIGGEST they were kept hidden in

another room until after all the other presents in boxes were opened.

Then- mine was rolled in.

 But, as the years passed, 3 things converged that ended my rein as the ‘Big

Shot Grandma". The three, not necessarily in order were:

1) Suddenly (and belatedly?) I became aware that being the “Big Shot

Grandma’, while fun for me, maybe wasn’t so nice for the other grandparents

who were wonderful, warm and loving people.

2) About the same time the children already had all the ’wheels’ that were

out there (except for a real car which was never going to come from me).

3) And finally when I wasn’t looking, the TECH AGE sprung upon us,

even for very young children. The Toys R Us aisles were full of them

(starting at age 12- 24 months, for goodness sakes!). But I didn’t ‘get’ it.

And then as they became teenagers in a world so different than it was when

I was one, things such as an ‘I- POD’ with 1000 songs on it, became popular.

I didn’t 'get'  that either. I love music...but 1000 songs!

So, my dilemma was, for a grandchild’s birthday WHAT can I get her or

him? I thought about it and asked my children what they suggest and the

answer was simple. “ Ma, get them 'gift cards’ so they can buy anything

they want for themselves.” So there I was in CVS of all places, buying ‘gift

cards’ for each and every birthday as they came along. No fun for me at all!

And my gifts no longer came in a BIG BOX, nor were kept in another room

to be presented last or presented at all. My envelope just sat there on a table

with the other birthday cards.

The glory days of being the BIG SHOT GRANDMA were sadly over. 

I loved it while it lasted . When I confided it to my daughter, she said,

“ It’s okay, Ma, you’ll have the chance again when you’re a Great Grandma."

It was one of the nicest things she ever said to me.


                                                       THE END
My Side of the Senior Street: I call them: FACTION, a blend of FACT and FICTION