The subject of 'Aging'

No one would be surprised that the subject of 'aging' is a major topic of 

conversation for seniors.

"I don't know when it happened" said Brenda as she blew out the candles on her

 83rd birthday cake."First I was young, then middle age and now I'm old...it just

 kinda crept up on me."

"When you weren't looking?"  I said, and we all laughed.

" Let me remind you," said Lily, "growing old is not for sissies!"

Sounds of agreement filled the room. "And it's so expensive here at

 our Assisted Living place," groaned Brenda. 

"I know." said Lily, worriedly, "What if I run out of money...? Where

would I go?"

I guess I was in one of my 'witty' moods; "Don't worry your money will

last if you don't...if you don't ...uh uh..."

"Don't what...live too long??" said Lily, "Thanks a lot!"

"It's simple," I quipped, "just make sure that you don't outlive your

 bank account." I waited for the laughs but there weren't any.

"Ma," said my daughter Debbie,  rolling her eyes, "that's not funny..." 

"Honey, my friends know that I'm kidding!  and... just because we're 

old doesn't mean we have to be humorless..."

"....or boring" said Brenda..."but your daughter is right," she added,

"running out of money is not funny". 

" And by the way," said Lily, pointing at me, "do  we...do you have to say everything

that comes to your mind!?"

"Okay, okay, " I said. "But you all know me...just trying to keep it 'light' ..." 

"Well, it didn't work this time." said a voice from the back of the room.

"Just because we're old," I said again, "we don't have to be gloomy."

"We're not 'gloomy,' " burst out the angry voice. "We're sensitive to the 

feelings of others... or should be!"

 Rita  stood up," No sir! I'll be 86 soon and at my age I have the right to say

anything I want  to!" Her small frail frame belied the dominating woman

within. A few others applauded and called out, "Go girl!"

I waved my hand, "Good! "I said, "So...when is our next birthday party"?

"Wednesday," answered Amy, "mine." 

"Ah, another delicious cake tomorrow," said Jane.

"No," said Rita, Tomorrow is Tuesday."

"It is? It feels so much like Tuesday today...all day it did."

"Well, today is Monday."

"Time flies so fast when you're..."

"Never mind that!"  said Rita!" She turned to Jane," When you wake up don't

you have to know what day it is...what month?"

"Yeah, and what season are we in summer, winter...?" I added..... so you'll

 know how to dress...?"

" Duh... windows?" sneered Jane.

My daughter spoke out, " Mom, ladies, don't fight ..." Let's sing Happy Birthday

to Brenda." She opened her cell phone and pointed into the crowd as they sang.

"Here's to 100 years!" a voice called out.

"One hundred and one," came another.

"But seriously, said Lily, "not knowing what day it is...what about doctor's

appointments, and social occasions...? Don't you have a clock... a watch, 

a calendar...for Goodness Sake!"

"OK" said Jane, "I get it! Today is Monday, not Tuesday." So, now let's

change the subject."

 "Let's," I said,"and in a few minutes Debbie will show us the video

 of all of us singing." (and maybe some of your dialogue) I muttered to myself.

  "You took pictures of us Debbie?" Lily asked. "I`didn't see a camera."

   "Ah! We can take pictures now with our cell phones." she answered. "Things

   have changed since you all were...y'know ...young. The new technology

   has really enhanced our lives... such as the computer with  E Mail, Skype, 

   Facebook, Twitter, Instagram...and so on."

  "Mmm" the murmur went through the room, in which most of  them were not

  familiar with the new terms.

  " That's good" I said with emphasis, "but not everything new is more valuable than 

  anything old."

  "Like...? asked Debbie.

  Butting heads with my daughter is not my favorite thing...she was as

  adamant with her opinions as I was with mine. In fact I have told her

  that she inherited that trait from me,(which she wasn't too thrilled about).

  "Well, let me think." I began racking my (aged) brain to recall some of 

  what I'd read...( if I remembered!) 

  But my thought process was interrupted by some friends rolling in a cart

  from the kitchen with the announcement, "Ladies, here it is, our all time

  treat...ice cream, all flavors, with and without sprinkles, all kinds, cones,

 pops, sandwiches...sundaes. Come and Get 'em!"

ICE CREAM,  the words clicked in my head. That was it,  the answer I

 was looking for, not new, but one of the most enjoyable and yes, one

of the most important things in our lives...at every age! And nothing

could be further from hi tech than a vanilla ice cream cone covered in

chocolate sprinkles.

" Mmm, delicious,", I said, and all the "mmm's"  followed.  "Do you all

know that ice cream is hundreds of years old...some of our earliest Presidents 

had it in the White House and served it to guests. So," I asked Debbie, " good

example?"

" It is good," she answered.  "How old did you say  it was?"

"A few hundred years." I was excited. 

She didn't answer, but gave me a big smile. I joined my friends, eager to tell

those that didn't hear us what Debbie and I had talked about and to bring her 

into the subject. When I returned to our table she was holding her phone  and

smiling.

"Ma, I have something to show you. This phone takes pictures and videos,

 right? I can also access the internet with it so I clicked on the 'History of Ice Cream' 

and read of the earliest discovery of ice cream in China in 3000 BC. It was

 followed by Italy's, also thousands of years ago."

" Really? Wow." 

She paused and stared hard at me," I got it from Google...know what that is?"

"Of course!" I said indignantly..." but I never actually...you know... did it..."

"I can show you how...do you want me to?"

Without hesitation I answered, "Yes!"

And so began my entrance into the hi tech age of the 21st century. 

                                               THE END

 

 

  

  

     

  

 

 

 

Senior Addictions

                                   Seniors and 'Addictions'

We had just finished lunch and chatting about my 'Senior Blogs',  

"Y'know Ma,"said Debbie,"you like to write about senior citizens 

but you haven't written about this thing some of you have... and 

well, you 'd be familiar with..."

 "What 'thing'!"

"You know...your addiction... to...''

 " Addiction! Me? I am not a junkie! Not smoking, drinking, drugs...nothing!" 

I was angry.

"Ma! Wait. I don't  mean that kind..."

"Better not!"

"I mean other kinds of addictions, like the one you have for... y'know... crossword 

puzzles..."

"I like them...what's wrong with that!?"

"Nothing's wrong...really...It's just that you have do one or two every day...

and you'll do anything for a puzzle..."

"Anything? Even criminal behavior?"

Debbie shook her head, "No Ma! But anything short of that!"she added,

laughing.

"Really now, that's not funny," I said.

"Well, isn't it true that so much of the time that you spend is doing one or

looking for one... I've seen you approaching people you don't even know

asking them for the puzzle in their newspaper."

"They don't mind!" I said defensively.

"And you're working on one even when you're eating..."

I said nothing.

 "And...sleeping!"

"Not  true!" I protested.

"Well, but you do keep a puzzle next to you on the bed so in case you wake

 up during the night, you can work on it...right"?

It was true... but how did she know??

She rolled her eyes, " I saw ...when you stayed over ..."

I ignored her..." and not while showering," I continued,"or dressing...or

on the phone..."

"Uh uh,I see you doing one while you are on the phone..." she shook her head,

"and Ma, it's not nice..."

"But they don't know that I'm doing it!" 

"Oh, yes, you can tell when the person on the other end is distracted...not paying

attention..." and Ma, you even do it when your with us. If you're...what? bored

with the conversation you take out a puzzle..."

My phone rang, I was glad for the interruption, "I have to get this," I said to

Debbie, "It's my friend Linda. I'll just be a minute." Hi, Linda, how are  you?"

I let Linda do all the talking, I just muttered, "OK,...yes, 

"yes... fine... good... Thanks!"

I called  the waitress over,"We're ready for dessert, the chocolate pudding

with whipped cream..."

"And chocolate sprinkles on the top," we both added.

 " Mmm, good." said Debbie, "Now how about going shopping?" 

"Uh...no, I can't..." I said, pointing to my telephone. 

"You have to go?" asked Debbie. 

I didn't want to tell her why I was eagerly rushing over to meet Linda. Every 

Monday her Library had printouts of the New York Times's Sunday 

crossword and the daily ones; she always got them for me.

"Talk to you later" I said, leaning over to give her a quick kiss.

 As I drove to meet Linda I thought about our conversation, and that 

 word, 'addiction'. 

 I hated it! It  had and has such a bad connotation, bringing back 

images of men with long hair and sandals and a kind of blank look in the

eyes. But wasn't it only the long ago past generation that participated in it?

Hmm... not necessarily, some of  the present day were involved with it. 

I met Linda, she gave me the crossword puzzles and we spent a little time

 together,

As I headed home I pulled into the parking spot in front of my dry cleaner

to pickup my pants suit. On the counter was the daily local newspaper and

as usual I felt the pang of excitement, the crossword was in the back of the

paper, I knew exactly where, behind the comics page. I gave my receipt to

the woman, who turned and went through a door to the back of the store. 

I froze, it would take me only a few seconds to go through that newspaper,

find the puzzle and then tear it out. And who would miss it? The one who

the newspaper belonged to might not do them at all. But maybe he or she

or they read the comics page.

I looked at the door to the back room, she wasn't out yet, did I still have

time? But then the woman  came back with my clothes. I paid her, took

them and hurried out.

My mind was racing as I drove home. Was I actually considering it,

tearing out the puzzle page from someone else's newspaper? Was I nuts?

I had to call Debbie, but not on my cell phone while I was driving, to 

tell her that that word was awful but maybe not incorrect.  Still, there 

had to be another way to say it.

When I got home I heard the phone ringing as I put my key into the

lock, but it stopped just as I got in.That's okay, I have no time to talk 

to anyone right now I thought, as I pressed Debbie's number.

"Ah, glad you're home. I have to talk to you..."

"Ma, I just called you, to say that..."

"Honey, I thought again about that word you used... and maybe... you..."

"Ma, " she interrupted, " I really shouldn't have used it. How about...you 're 

'a creature of habit'.., or a such a fanatic...uh fan of puzzles...or a 'puzzle freak?"

" Hmm, no, none of them," I said.

" Hmm, or how about, she's  nuts about them..."

 "That's it!" I burst out, "I'm a  PUZZLE NUT !" 

"It's perfect." we both said, with applause. 

                                                       The End