The Question of Obsessions

 Debbie was coming over and we planned to go gift shopping for my nieces bridal shower next week. When I went outside to wait for her I saw the three '20 something' neighborhood guys walking by together (all home on their college break) and I would have the chance to conduct my usual informal 'survey'...which is really just talking to them, for ex. "What's new with you guys... How is it going in school...what is your favorite class?"
Right now I am obsessed with the subject of obsessions,of their age group...and of course, we seniors. And am very much into the 'generational' differences. The boys know that I'm a writer and they are used to my 'interviews.' In fact they enjoy them. I'm their senior citizen neighbor, not that many of us in their lives (a Grandma, and Grandpa here and there, that's all.) My question to them today was: What are you, each of you, obsessed with?  
Jeff answered quickly,"Music," and they all agreed. To me, their music is not very appealing, my generation once had ours also with the music of our day from Frankie Sinatra to Frankie Laine, but I don't really 'get' theirs. 
"Sports!" called out Pat. Yes! As kids we were obsessive sports fans too, of the Brooklyn Dodgers or New York Yankees and at times our feelings were so intense they actually broke up some of our friendships, one of mine in particular. But that was then, not any more.
Then Matt called out 'Food, " and they all nodded, "Yeah, we do think about a food a lot. Right now, we're going to the 'Pizza Corner' ". So did I relate to that? Not necessarily as much, it's more of a 'guy' thing. the eating part... the social part, sitting with friends, 'catching up,' sure.
But hungry as they were they didn't rush off. They wanted to know what my obsessions were. Imagine that! After all, a half century separated us! That they even gave the slightest interest in what I or anyone else my age thought and felt, (except maybe their own grandmas' and grandpa's), moved me.But what was my answer?  The old interests were no longer uppermost in my mind and heart.So what did mean the most to me, aside from my family of course? I had to think before I spoke, I wanted to say something they'd respect, such as uh...uh, world peace. 
Just then Debbie pulled up, I said "Bye" to the boys and got into her car. "Doing one of your 'Surveys' Ma "? she asked. 
"Uh huh, I'm working on a couple of them and I told her what I talked about with the boys.
I did not expect her reaction. "Ma! that's not a nice question to ask young guys... it's very personal. Why would they want to tell you... admit to you what they're passions are!"   
"Debbie, what are you talking about! They did tell me... 'Sports', y'know, football, baseball, hockey..Is that personal? And Music, they all go crazy for that 'rap', 'hip hop', whatever they call it... and Food ! They were going for pizza..  But why are you're so angry?"
"Ma" Are you really that naive... I never thought you were... they're young guys... men...! She held her head. "Did you forget?"
"Forget what?"
"Y'know...about men..."
"Ha" I laughed, "Let's not go there. And by the way they didn't mind answering my questions...in fact, they were so nice about it.."

"Sure they were being nice but they don't like it!" she said

again, raising her voice "Don't you get it..?"

I shook my head, "Chill!" 

The anger on Debbie's face suddenly cracked, she burst out laughing, "What did  you say?"

"I said, 'Chill'. 'Cool it!" And I laughed too. "Yeah, some of your jargon is so good...perfect. Your Mom is 'with it'. isn't she."  

She laughed, " Sorry Ma, not exactly. "Chillax!"is what we say now. 'Chill and Relax' ! Chillax!"

"Ooh, I like that! Can I use it?"

"It's a free country," she said.

As Debbie was parking  the car at the mall the sun came out, for the first time all week. "I don't want to shop now," I said to Debbie," let's have lunch first." 

"So early Ma?"

"Okay, so we'll call it  'brunch', is that better?"I said.

"Well, why don't we do some shopping first, we'll start in Macy's...They have a great kitchen department."

"No! ... I mean yes, they do, but..."

She gave me a long look, "You like Kohl's better? We'll go there."

I shook my head, 'I like Kohl's, but... no!" I was adamant, spend time  in a store and miss that precious sunshine! I hurried  toward the coffee shop with her following. As soon as we got inside I saw the table I wanted, I call it my table. It was at the wall of windows and the rays of sun were streaming right onto it. A calm come over me from my head to my heart.

"Sit," I said to Debbie, "I want to talk, to explain..." We sat and I leaned forward toward her, "I can't be indoors right now.The sun is shining and I want... must be in it, whether I'm outside or at a window while it's coming through...like this. Do you know what I mean?"

"Well sure,we all like a sunny day, not rainy or cloudy or...."

"You don't understand, honey. I have to get sun...it's my ...."

"... obsession?" she said, rolling her eyes. "Is it?"

I nodded, "Maybe. It makes me feel so good. Is that  bad?"

"Well, it;s not bad but ..."
"Y'know" I said, "I could be 'obsessed' ...with...well, anything... crossword puzzles,Tony Bennett...or those chocolate cookies that you put on the grill..."
"Smores"said Debbie." mmm, yeah me too."
"But now, aah, I feel it, the heat coming from the sun, warm on my shoulders, and look the way it glistens and sparkles on the water pitcher and  the  glasses. Come, sit here on this side."

She came around to the seat next to me which was in full sunlight."Ooh, nice" she said, turning her face to the bright rays that reflected off the window. She lifted her hand  toward me.

"Want to  shake on it?" I said.

"No, High Five!"  

" High Five!" I repeated,  as I thought, Our generations are not so far apart, after all.! There is so much we can agree on." 

                                       THE END

 

The Game

When we seniors get together ( which could be every day if we wish)  there is no shortage of subjects to talk about. Having lived a long time, we have myriad  experiences to draw on and opinions to match. The only problem is that some of us...many of us have hearing problems, so there's a lot of , "Whaaat?" going on. 

I decided to play a game when I got to the Senior Center, without telling anyone else. My game had two parts to it.  A) How long before the first one brought up that subject, an hour? half an hour... 5 minutes? And B)  who had the best story while of course the rest of us would be joining in with OURS.

But today, as soon as we all sat at the table, Elaine started passing the photos around of the 'baby,' her first great-grand child of three weeks ago. and while we "oohed" and "aahhed," she said, "he's a gifted boy, I can tell ." Some looked at each other, trying not to mock her. Not me! I knew that  about my great- grand child at the age of 2 days! 

Talk  about babies is of course the most pleasurable of all subjects for we seniors. To know that you're leaving behind another member of the family, and  perhaps a namesake, is so rewarding! Also, along with news about babies, we hear and talk about our older grand -kids..."Matt graduated with honors, he E mailed me this morning..." I told them.  No one mocked that news, they all listened respectfully and were impressed.

But I'm not the only one with brilliant kids, we all have stories, (sometimes we talk over each other with them, especially at the end of  school semester...from the first grade,   (great-grand children), to a college graduation or two. However, it is without question a subject that must be brought up tactfully...and responded to equally as tactful. "Thanks for sharing," was the nicest way to react. Since no one here is able to read minds and see the " 'Ok, enough already with your kids, you told us...!' it remains pleasant.  

As far as other subjects are concerned we seem to have unwritten agreement to keep it light, staying away from illness and  worse.

Okay, so what about politics...lot to talk about  there,  right? Absolutely not! I have no wish to tangle with the other side of the political fence and I'm sure they have no wish to tangle with mine. Our advanced ages didn't weaken our beliefs, so who needs it!!

Weather? Usually not a very interesting conversation, unless it becomes personal, like now. These last few weeks, with one snowstorm following another, thick heavy flakes blanketing the streets, and our cars, ( if we  still drive). Then the temperature drops and it all turns to ice, keeping us indoors where the danger isn't broken bones but fever...cabin fever. Sue said it best," I'm tired of hibernating...gotta get out!"

And then  came  the lull... but for not more than a minute or two...before Annie spoke up, "What a night I had! I lost my sleep and couldn't get back to it for 3 hours!"

I applauded, no one knew why.  She was the first to bring up that subject so she was the first winner of my game.   

"Yeah, me too,"said  Sue,"so I thought if I put some music on the radio it would help."

"Oh,"said Roz, "music is the last thing that would help...it stirs up memories...  good ones... bad ones. Both will keep you awake" 

"What about the radio,but not music, talk shows, "said Jen. 

Everybody moaned, "That's the worst!"

"I had to get up to go to the bathroom," said Millie, " Took me 2 hours t get back to

 sleep! I tried reading, that didn't work either."

When we all murmured in agreement, she nodded, " I think the idea is to put your mind to rest, not to stimulate it!" she said.

Soon we were all  comparing  notes on our nights; "I  had only 4 hours sleep last night," said  Ali, and the rest of us listened sympathetically.

But when Paula said,"I didn't sleep a wink all night! I just waited until dawn to get out of bed." 

That was it!  OK, I thought, applauding again,  you win the game, you had the best...no, the worst story of all.!

That was the end of that discussion, no one could top Paula's story and nobody tried.

We do our best to get together often and keep our conversation interesting such as, "How many hours did I not sleep last night".

                                                                THE END