THE CRANKY DAY

                                              THE CRANKY DAY

                                              “something in the air”

I call it The Cranky Day because everywhere I went all day everyone seemed cranky.

I first noticed it early in the morning; my neighbor, for the only time in the 10 years

that I've lived here, sat on his front porch and just stared into space. No "Good Morning"

with a wave as he usually did. I wondered what was the matter and hoped he was okay.

We were all going to Debbie for her summer barbeque. I was taking a fresh fruit salad

of watermelon and strawberries and I thought it would be nice to sprinkle shredded

coconut on the top. But before my stop at the supermarket I’d go for a haircut. I threw on  

pants and a tee shirt and ran out  (I’d get dressed later in my nicer outfit… ( a little nicer).

Joe, the receptionist, at the beauty parlor wasn’t his usual warm and friendly self. I

wondered why but didn’t feel that I should question him.

Diane, my hairdresser also seemed very tense. “Have a nice day,” she said,as I was

leaving. At least that’s what I thought she said, her words were listless and mumbled,

and I was hard of hearing.

When I called Debbie to see if she needed any last minute things, she, not the most

patient of people, sounded even less so today.

“Is something wrong?” I asked. “How are the children?”

“They’re FINE!” she answered in a belligerent tone. “Why do you ask?!”

“Uh, no reason…” I’ll see you all later.”

I wondered if it were ‘her time of the month' which would explain her curt tone.

When I did ask her once, she was ‘highly insulted’ by my question, interpreting it to

mean that if I thought that her emotions were‘hormonal’ that I wasn’t respecting her

true feelings. I actually considered the idea of somehow sneaking a look at her calendar

 to see what days were‘circled’ on it, and then if I could, try to keep my distance at that time.

At Stop And Shop I bought what I needed and got on a line. A customer

three places ahead of me at the register was very agitated and having words

with the cashier.

I turned to the woman behind me, she had an open, friendly face.

“Everyone is cranky today,” I said, “ do you notice?”

She nodded, “Oh yes. Mercury is in retrograde…”

“What is in what?! I asked.

“Merc- ur- y"” she repeated slowly and loudly, “is in ret- ro- grade.”

“What in the world does that mean?” I asked.

“It’s not in our world ” she said,” with a tone of disgust.

Because she was a total stranger I had no way of knowing if is she was

always so grouchy or was she today because of me or, well… Mercury?!!

A man on the line behind her joined in, “You’re wrong. Mercury in

retrograde affects machines, cars, appliances etc. Not people’s moods.” His

disgust with her was even stronger than hers was with me.

“ No, you’re wrong” she said, and with a huff she turned her cart around and

moved to another line.

At home I made the fruit salad, dressed quickly and left. At Debbie’s house I

went straight to the back patio, she was setting the table and my son-in-law

Paul was at the barbeque pit getting it ready.

“Oh, Ma, that looks good” she said, taking my fruit bowl. Then with a

double take at me, she said; “Why is your face green?”

“My face is green?” I said.

“Your eye shadow, it’s smeared all over…”

“Oh.” Maybe because I was rushing out, didn’t want to be late. Once, ten

years ago I was a little late to your house and I’m still hearing about it!
 
I could have said it, but I didn’t
.
As her delicious burgers were sizzling away on the grill, they all began to

come in. Neil, 17, didn’t want my hug, although he was usually okay with it.

“What’s going on with him?” I asked Debbie.

She shrugged, “They’re all kind of grumpy today.”

“Why, do you think?”

“It’s the heat!” exclaimed my granddaughter, Bonnie.

We were having a heat wave here in the northeast, today was one of those

hot, muggy, icky August days…and for Bonnie in her late months of

pregnancy, it had to be even more uncomfortable.

I greeted the other children,“ So are you all getting ready for the new

term?” Emily was entering high school and Haley was in her last year there.

Their unenthusiastic reaction gave me the idea that with summer almost

over maybe it wasn’t the best subject to bring up.

“And Haley is PMS ing,” Debbie, whispered to me.

I laughed inside, ‘That’s what I wondered about you’ I thought.

“That could be it!” said Bonnie, “why everyone is cranky…PMS.”

“But that doesn‘t explain the guys,” I said, “my neighbor, Joe at the beauty

parlor, the man at Stop and Shop, what’s their excuse?”

“Ha! Imagine… if they could have the babies!” said Bonnie.

“ No more population growth!” laughed Neil and Lenny.

My granddaughter Natalie who had just came into the house joined the

conversation at the table which was still focused on the subject at hand:

Why was everybody so cranky today? She was excited, “I think it’s

something in the water.”

“Why do you think that?” we all asked.

“Because everyone is carrying a bottle of water!”

I had noticed it too, definitely not a part of our pop culture when I was young.

“OR containers of coffee!” said Haley. So was caffeine the culprit? She was one

who saw everything through the lens of nutrition.

“And they’re all talking on their cells phones,” pointed out Charles.

“AHA! Cell phones! That’s it!“ I said, “All those microwaves, I never

trusted it.”

“Ma, you’re suspicious of all the new technology“ said Debbie, “or as you

call them, ‘the new machines’. Should we go back to smoke signals?”

“Oh no, I love it, especially e mailing. FYI! LOL! OMG! I use them a

lot… but can you show me how to get that ‘smiley face’?”

We talked more over the delicious barbeque, salads and dessert but the

question of the day was left unresolved… there were many clues, but no

SINGLE CLUE. Maybe it’s just something in the air we concluded.

On my way home as I passed by our town lake I stopped on a whim.

I felt in need of the calmness of the idyllic scene, swans gracefully

floating atop the blue water …graceful and serene.

Why aren’t we as serene as they are ? I asked myself.

They’re only birds, what do they have to worry about? I answered myself.

The other benches were filled with people, seemingly as entranced with the

scene as I was. My eyes were drawn to a young woman seated a few yards away.

I couldn’t help but stare at her. She felt my stare, stood up and walked over to me.

I smiled; “Hi”.

There was no smile or “Hi” in return. “ What is your address” she asked.

“My address? Why?” Did she want to invite me somewhere?

She flipped her head, “ So I can send you your eyeballs back!” she snapped,

and stomped away.

I froze, didn’t know whether to laugh or to .. …what? Breath in…breath

out…breath in. Of all the crankiness, grouchiness and grumpiness from

early that morning and all day, this one won the prize! (the booby prize?)

Was she carrying a container of coffee, a bottle of water, or a cell phone.?

I couldn’t see, she had walked away. Or  was it just something in the air?

“Have a nice day,” I called out.

Years ago John Denver sang, ‘Some Days are Diamonds, Some Days are

Stones…’ For some unknown reason today was a ‘day of stones’ for so

many. But it was almost over. We’ll all go to sleep and wake tomorrow to a

fresh start, a new day and hopefully a happier one.

                                                              THE END